With the forces of the bandits utterly routed, with several dead and one unconscious, our Kadizian Commandos decide to search a bit more in the North of town, where the frightened and inexplicably wooden bartender reported the soldiers and escaped slaves had gone, dragging the hog-tied bandit with them. Unfortunately, since night had fallen on our Multi-Ethnic Militia, they were forced to seek out an inn for the night. The bartender was viciously sarcastic, but our heroes were able to brave his snobbery and rent a room to sleep in. When they awoke around mid-afternoon, the badly beaten bandit began bitching. Derrick attempted to see if the bandit was working with anyone and what his name might be, but at the first sign of sass the mysterious giant punched the bandit so hard he fell back into unconsciousness (this was an accident, but Derrick pretended as if it was not). The crew then decided to search the area on the outside of town, leaving The Female Halfling Sorceress Whose Name Escapes Me with the unconscious bandit, in order to keep the room paid for and cope with her discovery of the Third Boob of the Cosmos. Our heroes barely managed to escape the clutches of the sarcastic innkeep a second time, but they prevailed.
Derrick’s tracking skills lead our Insurmountable Insurrectionists to a small military camp in some woods, and thanks to Matthias’s quick thinking, they were able to pose as a missionary troupe – Prescott the Bard sung a hymn, Matthias the Cleric held his Ungodly Needle aloft, and Derrick the Conspicuous Fighter tried his best to look inconspicuous. The guards take us to their captain, who begins to decline a room for the night before Prescott’s expert lying skills punch him right in the brain (a commendable feat, considering that it was about 5 in the afternoon at the time and the military camp was only a short walk away from town). Our Resplendent Rebels are lead to a warehouse to sleep in, instructed not to leave, but our heroes begin to snoop around, discovering an unusual amount of mining equipment. Derrick was able to take several flasks of explosive materials before several soldiers burst into the room, beginning to fight drunkenly. Matthias recalls that today is Kadizian Independence Day, and that their drunkenness is likely the result of a celebration. The trio is then discovered when the drunks knock over a bookshelf and are surprised when it doesn’t fall over all the way (our heroes are hidden behind said bookshelf, you see), and they decide to take a look. What they find is a freakishly large and heavily-armoured man, a small robe-clad Gnome, and a man with a lute. And then the heckling started. A very small soldier, elated to have finally found someone shorter than him, began to push Matthias about, only to be stopped by Derrick. Unfortunately, this caused things to escalate, as several guards grabbed on to Derrick in turn, and a fight began.
Unable to effectively fight off his attackers, Matthias climbed to the top of a bookshelf, attempting to aid his allies. He did not. Prescott dispatched several drunken soldiers with his wits, whimsically insulting them with his Bardic magics until their besotted brains shut down for the evening. Derrick, surrounded by no less than 4 soldiers, took all their drunken punches with ease, but struggled under the weight of the men grabbing him. Eventually, he was able to take two men out in one punch, but still suffered several blows. Meanwhile, Several guards who had not noticed the fight breaking out (as they were fighting each other) turned around to see a small Gnome standing on top of a bookshelf, holding a glowing sewing needle. They then proceeded to attack him by punching him in the legs until he fell down. Alarmed, Matthias used his Gnomish trickery to vanish, rolling off the bookshelf and back into the fight, which was now much less of a fight than it was his allies standing around a pile of unconscious soldiers, since Derrick had broken free of the remaining soldier grappling with him and thrown him into the smaller man. Derrick then picked up two of the unconscious regular-sized soldiers and displayed them to the newly-arrived guards, instructing them to get out. However, this did not dissuade them, and they stood their ground – with the exception of one soldier, who was impaled by a spear of light which erupted from Matthias’s sewing needle. The soldiers drew their weapons, as did Derrick and Prescott.
Shit just got real.